


Blind Ride on Highway 80

by beambayonet



Category: Devilman (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Epistolary, Getting Together, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Psychosis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-01-16 22:23:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 6,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beambayonet/pseuds/beambayonet
Summary: If there's someone you love now, tell them you love them right now!There are images. Mobile unfriendly.





	1. cant stop shaking

This is the third day he's done this.  
  
At home there's a bin filled with papers in haste type, such as:

  
  
  
And now. Pacing outside of the Makimura household looking suspect and alone. Grasping a piece of paper in his hand, and seeing movement, fleeing the area. They'll probably call the cops about him, and the cops are probably demons.

Thankfully he's not careless enough to leave the note.

He is shaking and he is sweating and he is terrified at every waking moment.

More to come, as always more to come.


	2. God's Little Smoke Detector

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is this a threat? Is this some kind of a joke? Well whatever I'm going to school

If you had the confident knowledge that the world was going to end in your lifetime, wouldn't you want to tell someone?

There's a fire in his chest, and it is guiding him through left, right, then another right to the scene.

And what gets him isn't the violence ahead or the heat in his trench coat. It's that feeling in the pit of his stomach when he sees him again.

"We don't have much time," he says, and it's what he wanted to say but it isn't. Something else unformed and hot in the back of his head, something auxiliary but the point of it all the same.

He is shaking and he is sweating and he is terrified, not of the scene but the potential, the inevitable, the scenes to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHICAGO AND MS JOVAN'S LAND-O-MAT - THE LOUD FAMILY
> 
> The Devil doesn't owe you back your soul!


	3. From the Journal of Archaeology reject pile

"Ryo, what's that?"

He doesn't know when it flipped to a first name basis, and something about it has him feeling... a way. Scared, in fact, but that is an all too familiar feeling, and the undercurrent of his day-to-day. It's everything, and because it's everything, it is nothing.

"My father's research," he starts. "I found it all when he died."

Ryo is still buzzing from:

1\. Adrenaline  
2\. Something about hearing his first name  
3\. Fingers of whiskey (from the morning)

As such, he's finding it difficult to explain the particulars.

About how his father stumbled upon something, about how his father learned some dark secrets, about how his father died.

Akira does not look convinced. He looks a little sad.


	4. The Drive There

30 minutes prior.

If there had been a policeman around, Ryo would have received this:

As it were, there were none. He drove an aggravated Akira Fudo to the house his father left him, high on the spirit and the manic energy that comes past the 20th waking hour.

He is rambling, and Akira almost looks like he wants to knock him out until Ryo drops the big event.

"Professor Asuka is...?"

And for a moment, it seems Akira grasps the terrible truth of the scenario, although he couldn't - Ryo hasn't shown him the extent of it nearly.

For a moment, Ryo doesn't feel alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DRUNK ON THE SPIRIT  
AND HIGH ON FUMES


	5. Waist and the Knees

What Akira doesn't see is a pile of leftover flyers. What he sees is a demon.

Ryo is nervously glancing at them, all xerox-exact copies of eachother and pinned up on various poles in the city.

Akira, meanwhile, is wearing the mask and seeing demons. Demons of the long past, horrifying and gored scenes and smells. He's getting it.

And as the realization dawns on Akira in visceral shrieks of terror, Ryo finally figures at what it is he needs to tell him.

"Don't take it off!" he shouts. That wasn't it.

"What you're seeing right now is..." and that wasn't it either.

His heart is pounding just watching, aching to leap forth from his chest so it can peter out on the floor, until he breaks at the waist and the knees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WAIST AND THE KNEES - GAME THEORY


	6. Room For One More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> elegance of line
> 
> and sense of place

When the reality of it hits, Akira wishes Ryo had crashed the car and killed them both.

"This is too much for just us, Ryo," he starts, grasping his knees. "We gotta tell somebody, the newspaper or -"

"Going public will make us targets," Ryo says, like he's rehearsed this exact conversation in the mirror (he has).

Akira sighs, scratches his head.

"What do I tell the Makimuras?"

And Ryo laughs. "Nothing. You can't tell anyone."

Some secret.

Ryo wants to offer himself as replacement for when the inevitable comes, but now did not seem the time.


	7. I Think Of Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think of demons, they never kill  
I think of demons, they never will

Akira doesn't know what it means to let loose.

He's out of his element here, what with the drinking and the drugs and the music so loud they can't hear eachother talk. He's stiff as a board, tense and clunky in movement, and Ryo figures immediately this isn't going to work.

"Here," he says, giving a demonstrably safe swig and handing Akira the flask. "Drink this."

The flask's already half empty, courtesy of Ryo, who feels.. Something. At seeing Akira's lips touch the flask his just left. At sharing the slow burn of the whiskey.

Akira gets in with the crowd after an hour or so, a new if artificial confidence in him. As if he's forgotten why they're here. Ryo's watching, and he could swoon if not for the heavy weight of the event that is about to unfold.

If fusing with a demon won't send him to hell, this will.

He grabs the nearest bottle, breaks it, and the illusion ends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I Think of Demons - Roky Erickson


	8. If and When

Ryo, in his hospital gown, considers his options.

He knows what it is, now. That must be it. A feeling so intrinsic to the human body, yet so unwieldy to act. 

God, he's in love.

So when will he tell Akira?

"Hah!" he barks to himself, and the nurse about to step in decides against it. "Never."

Meanwhile, Akira has changed. Ryo is deciding if he likes the change, and has thought to himself that for now at least, he does. The handsome devil that he is now. Not that he wasn't handsome before, but he certainly wasn't a devil.

Ryo simply hopes he won't lean too far off that edge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if and when it falls apart - game theory


	9. I could be someone you love more than me

He's gonna tell him.

He's got to. The urge is ripping through his bones, and some big change will happen very soon and he knows it intrinsically, and so he has to tell him now, before it is too late.

A sense is warning him in strong waves, of a great calamity to befall - him? Akira? Both? He can't tell but he can tell it will be soon. Something changes when they're together, and changes again when they're apart, and if he can have even one moment of clarity, he will treasure it forever.

Ryo Asuka is smarter than to hope for reciprocity.

He steps out of the stairwell from his apartment building, sweating under the trenchcoat even through the chill autumn air. And he has a note in his hand, and he is going to deliver it, and Ryo is no coward, no sir.

Well aware of the demonic risk. Well prepared to face whoever comes to his apartment at 1800 on Friday. Less prepared if it is simply Akira, but he is steeling himself.

It will go how it goes, and it will end how it ends. He is at peace with that, but he is shaking nonetheless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ballet hetero - the loud family


	10. It goes about how one would expect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's like that, isn't it?

Ryo is in his other studio apartment in the city. One of several temporary safe shelters, all stocked with combat first aid kits from overseas, all stocked with instant ramen, all with a twin sized mattress, XL. He is considering his choices when it comes:

Two knocks, and the door is unlocked, and the door is opened.

"Ryo," Akira starts.

And Ryo, sweaty-palmed, marvels once again at the first-name basis.

Akira quickly shuts and locks the door, and with a cursory look around the room, holds up..

The note.

"What's this about?" he asks, moving to sit on the mattress on the floor.

Ryo, who is stood by the window with blinds closed and light blocked out by a sheet, approaches.

"I had something to tell you," he says.

"Spit it out. What's up, man?"

Ryo stops. He had planned, yes, but he hadn't scripted.

"Well," he starts, "you're all I've got, and I'm all you've got. You know that, right?"

"...Yeah." 

Ryo continues, sweating visibly. "Like Achilles and Patroclus."

He laughs, more of a soft bark.

"Something's changed, Akira."

Akira looks up at Ryo. Dead serious. "How'd you mean?"

"In me, I mean."

"Did you-" Akira begins. "Did you fuse with a..?"

"No, no, not at all," Ryo replies. With all the complexities of deviled men, this was still more complicated than that.

"Something's different."

Ryo sighs.

"We might fail, you know. There's a solid chance we won't save anyone, and I've been thinking on that."

"Ryo, if you're saying it's pointless I swear to God I'll-"

"What I'm saying is," says Ryo, "I get it now."

He gets it like when Akira put on the mask. He begins to shake.

"We were fated, perhaps, to be in this fight together." An understatement. "It's only natural I develop a fondness, for you." And Ryo, looking out the window, follows with: "'Feelings', I guess."

Akira, who was intently listening, has to stop himself from laughing in his face from the whiplash. This wasn't expected.

"Is that it?"

"We could die any day, you know."

"Ryo," Akira says. Soft. "You know we're in this together."

And Ryo, trembling, reaching a hand out to lift Akira up, he says, "Yeah. I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wannabe - the spice girls


	11. Ballet Hetero

He didn't get it.

In the small gestures, Ryo Asuka learns that Akira didn't fully understand him.

Such gestures as:

  * When he reaches a hand, and Akira gets up on his own.
  * When he sits closer and Akira moves to give him space.
  * When he tries that yawn-and-put-an-arm-around maneuver and Akira asks with a laugh, "Bro, what are you doing?"

Alone in Apartment #3, on 24th and Main, and in thought. It is dusk, and the orange light streaming through the sides of the blocked off window tell him as much. He's sat on a folding chair with a cigarette in hand, lit.

There was something Akira missed. Some small detail, a nuance of phrase that went right over his head. To have expressed himself to the best of his ability, Ryo muses over the smoke and the growing pile of ash in his makeshift paper cup ashtray, and to be misunderstood even then - this kills. It burns in his chest. It makes him want to cry.

And he might, in panic and sweats, but still - he is used to being unheard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BALLET HETERO - THE LOUD FAMILY


	12. Friend of the Family

Have we been cheated of 3 of our seasons?

This is what Akira receives under the door of the Makimuras, in a manila envelope labeled on front "FOR AKIRA FUDO". Mr. Makimura would consider it as suspicious, but it's been happening enough lately that he figured Akira had a secret admirer of sorts. That Akira had a secret girlfriend maybe. That he was trying to spare Miki's feelings.

Understandable.

Akira reads it, and finally, he gets it. He sighs a deep sigh and falls back onto the bed, letter falling to the wayside.

And so, he thinks to himself, he continues to mean what he said. In this together, or something like that.

"Yeah," he says to no one, chest aflutter. "Something like that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALWAYS - ERASURE


	13. Daydreaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please feel free to listen to the song recs at the end of the chapters as these are the chapter #moods

At the makeshift safehouse by the river, Ryo finds himself laint on the mattress in the attic. He's sweating, as if in a fever, but he knows he isn't sick - he can't be, he has too much to do. He tosses from one side of the full size to the other, and it does little to comfort him. He is distressed.

He lays instead flat on his back in defeat. "I wish Akira were here," he thinks.

There are newspaper clippings all along the walls, strings between, connections of possible demonic possession in places of power to the local level. Typewritten notes, coffee stained. A map of the area as the center of the solar system, pins conglomerating in large spots. If there was a YOU ARE HERE sticker, it would be notably absent of thumb tacks.

The attic itself is dimly lit.

He knows better than to relax in such circumstance, not that he could if he wanted to. He hopes Akira understands now, now that he delivered his urgent correspondence, however - in a way, he hopes Akira doesn't. 

And, of course, when that thought comes along - so comes a knock. In the pattern they'd agreed upon, him and Akira.

"You're good," he shouts, and sits up to face the attic door.

Speak of the Devil. 

"Ryo." Akira says, climbing in from the ladder, dead serious. "I think you can guess why I'm here..."

Ryo laughs, a preemptively bitter bark. "Yeah. I take it you read my letter."

"I did," Akira says, "and I wanted to say I-"

"Stop."

"What? Why?"

"Akira. Do you know how deep this hole could take us?"

Akira laughs, undeterred. "No deeper than Hell itself, Ryo, you already know this."

He'll never get over the first-name basis.

"There's a world full of danger waiting for us. Waiting to pounce." Ryo takes a cigarette from his chest pocket and sparks a light. "Shit hasn't hit the fan yet, but you'd best bet it's going to soon enough."

"...So?"

"I feel crazy, talking to you. You know that?"

Akira smiles, a weird smile. "Gonna let me finish?"

"No. Maybe."

Ryo sighs, and says "Maybe when I'm done explaining the risks inherent."

And Akira, reaching a hand to Ryo's shoulder, pulls him in for the kiss.

It's hot like fire on Ryo's lips, burning the veins throughout his body. He feels lightheaded. He might faint. His hand finds its way to Akira's shoulder, and they stay, locked together, until Akira pulls his hand away-

"Ow!!" he says, not out of hurt so much as surprise. He has had much worse. It was a toke burn.

"Sorry, bud," Ryo mumbles, pulling his cigarette hand from where it had burnt Akira.

"So, uh, does that-" Akira starts, flustered. "Does that get my point across?"

"Yeah, loud and clear."

And then, of course this is how it would be: Ryo jolts up, on the mattress in the attic, drenched in sweat, shaking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DAYDREAMING - The Roues Brothers


	14. You

Ryo Asuka wakes in a puddle of sweat, shivering. His head is pounding. He feels vaguely nauseous. Then also, the dream he awoke from has him feeling...

Hurt, and strikingly lonely.

He pushes off his damp sheets, weak - he is in the attic of the safehouse by the river, on the full size mattress, surrounded by his newspaper clippings along the walls, and the string, and the dim lighting.

"So," he thinks to himself, "I dreamt I was right here."

He gets up, shaking, to peel his shirt off and replace it with a black mockneck found aft. Akira's, probably. Which was weird, because Akira usually took his clothes back to the Makimura's after an encounter, and left the spares in the drawers down the stairs.. However, Ryo was not concerned. As far as he cared, a dry shirt was a dry shirt. He put it on.

The pants... would have to stay.

And his coat, his trenchcoat-- it was by the mattress, cast aside. His sawn-off piece tucked within. Ryo, shaking still, bundled himself in it and made his way down the ladder.

At this time, halfway down, something clicks in his head. Two pieces fit together, synapses fire and are recieved, and he makes the damning connection that he did not wake from a dream.

"Akira..!"

He makes the maddest dash he can from the steps to each room, hand in the trenchcoat, ready to fire in case this safe house isn't so safe anymore. And he finds:

Nothing.

Not a soul anywhere, which he is thankful for, which disappoints him.

He considers delivering a letter to the Makimuras. He goes so far as to type it.

It ends up in the garbage with a quickness.

So where did the time between go? He thinks this and it triggers a panic.

Ryo, now pacing, tries to piece it together. Akira was here. He blinked. He woke up. And then Akira wasn't. Akira was here. They kissed. He woke up, and Akira wasn't. Akira was here...

Fists balled. Pacing. So they kissed. And then what? Did they talk about it after, and did Akira even get it? Could he possibly understand what Ryo meant in his letters, his gestures, his invitation to the dark secret they now share, that Akira now embodies?

Ryo decides that Akira didn't get it. 

Lost time was no matter. He grabs the keys to his father's car, and he's gonna make damn sure he gets it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You You You You You - The 6ths  
720 Times Happier Than The Unjust Man - The Loud Family


	15. Kiss Me On The Bus

Akira Fudo is in the kitchen.

He's brutal, by nature, but no brute. He feels, still, deeply and fully, maybe moreso accessible to him than to Ryo, he thinks. He is still, in a way, human.

He is washing dishes in the sedated heat, mostly alone - the Makimuras are sound asleep. Things seem peaceful, for once, and thankfully so. He finds himself thinking to Ryo.

The kiss.. Maybe that was the demon in him, but it felt right, it felt like two pieces coming together to one, like, like-- like a perfect circle. Does that make sense? He smiles, because he knows it doesn't. He's starting to think like Ryo talks, he muses.

And he hears a rumble, the rumble of a car, and must be newer. It approaches, so his keen hearing tells him, and stops - right in front of the house. Loud, almost unbearably, til it shuts off. Akira steps quietly outside to investigate.

What greets him is Ryo. Looking sweaty, looking pale, looking downright ill. Wearing Akira's black mockneck. Weakly stepping out of the car. Akira quickly comes forward, and steadies him.

"Hey now, you - whouah," he starts, catching Ryo as he stumbles. "You look like shit. Did you drive here?"

"Yes," croaks Ryo.

"Shouldn't've.."

Akira sighs.

"Come on inside, man."

"No, I - "

"Ryo!"

Akira brings him in closer, facing him directly, and feels the heat radiating. "What's up? It's late, you know."

"I needed to talk to you."

"About?"

"About.." 

What?

"If it's about last night, don't worry about it.. I get you."

The look Ryo makes could've broken Akira's heart. 

"Do you?"

Akira gives a weird involuntary smile, almost a grimace, and he pulls Ryo (unable to physically protest) inside the front gate, and into the house. He sits Ryo at the table and seats himself beside, and:

"Why did you come here, Ryo?"

Ryo's eyes look wild, feverish, sick of the brain.

"I had to tell you," he starts. "How I feel, I mean."

Akira looks, and laughs nervously. Hand hovering, first, then on his back gently. "What do you mean? You already did?"

"You don't understand. Things are changing." Ryo sighs, and shivers. "I can't remember last night, but I remember enough."

"You can't - " Akira says, surprised. "You're really not OK, you know that?"

"I'm not crazy." Ryo shrugs the hand off.

"That's not what I meant. You're sick."

"I'm fine," Ryo responds.

"You have a fever."

Akira puts a hand to Ryo's forehead as if to demonstrate to him, not that he needed confirmation.

"That's not why I'm here!"

"Can I take you to bed?"

Ryo laughs just a little too loud. And sighs. "Maybe you do get it."

The depth of it. The things he'd do. The people he'd be willing to hurt if any harm came to Akira.

"Ryo I promise you I get it. Can I take you to my room?"

"I don't give a shit," breathes Ryo.

Akira stands up from the floor, and reaches out a hand - "Up you go."

Ryo obliges.

"You can leave the car tonight," Akira says, guiding Ryo quietly to his bedroom.

When they get in, Akira switches the light on and sits him down on the bed.

"Take off the trenchcoat," he says, and Ryo is reluctant.

"C'mon."

He does so, and Akira lays him down and pulls up the covers over him.

"This is dangerous," Ryo says, and Akira silently agrees but refuses to do a damn thing about it. He sits on the bed, and waits for several minutes. Their hands find a way into eachother's.

"I gotta finish the dishes," Akira speaks, finally, in hush. He starts to get up when Ryo reaches, pulls him down, and kisses him back.

It is gentle, it is warm, it's soft and for once in their new lives: safe.

"Now we're even," he whispers.

Akira, softly:

"Yeah, call that even."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KISS ME ON THE BUS - THE REPLACEMENTS


	16. It's a twin XL how comfy can it be?

Ryo awakes in a start, as if from an intense dream.

From the way the light hits the walls, it's the morning. He doesn't remember getting here.

Akira must've taken him here, or maybe he walked, but it's no matter - he's safe, in a bed, and presumably Akira is safe as well. A cursory, groggy look tells him it is Akira's room, at the Makimuras. He feels warm. Not feverish, just warm.

He tries to sit up, but - he's weighed down, by an arm, a particularly heavy one.

"Mgghh..."

He looks behind him, as far as he can manage without disturbing Akira in his sleep.

Yeah, it's him.

Ryo makes a weird smile, feeling body tired, too much to break from Akira's hold. Feeling giddy and in love. Feeling accompanied. And, of course, it feels not right - like there's more he's yet to tell, and scary - for the obvious reasons. Love in the age of human nigh-extinction. It is scary, isn't it?

Ryo sighs, and cuddles in closer. He didn't really expect this at all. For Akira to get it, for Akira to reciprocate in any respect, for it to feel so..

Akira yawns and stretches his arm out, the other arm tucked beneath the pillow they shared. He curls in again around Ryo.

Safe. That's the word. For once, unaccompanied. Just safe.

Ryo laughs softly about it, and drifts back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PUT YOUR HEAD ON MY SHOULDER - PAUL ANKA


	17. Strange Powers

Ryo finds himself awake at Apartment #3, on 24th and Main, in the wee hours.

Among his scattered notes and scrawling, is set of brief and structured journals.

There are pages of this, in small detail at first, and leading up, more and more blank spaces. He is trying to piece together December 10th, 1972.

The landline rings. He doesn't answer it. He knows by now it isn't really ringing.

He could, of course, ask Akira for the blank spots - he could always do that, but he knows it's on him to remember what happened fucking yesterday. Akira has enough on his plate, between school and the great demonic burden and..

Navigating what's now, to Ryo, "Us". 

And he thinks, as he digs through transcripts and notes and newspaper clippings, the demonic burden is more than enough to deter Ryo from bringing forth any of his ... Personal matters.

He laughs to himself, unstable, shaking. O, the things he'd do to protect Akira, the protector! He can barely protect himself. He laughs at the comedy of it. O, Devil!

Something draws him, laughing still, to his feet, wide-eyed and buzzing. It draws him out the door, and down the stairs to the entrance way, to the street, to the place his car is parked. He gets in, and he pushes the clutch, starts the engine, and he goes.

When he comes to, it is December 13th, 1972.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STRANGE POWERS - THE MAGNETIC FIELDS


	18. Hell Knows

Ryo brought himself to the Makimura's. That much he remembers. He had to park a block away for fear of leading anyone dangerous to Akira's home - he walked a zigzag to the entrance, and hoped Akira would sense his presence before he had to knock on the door.

Which, of course, he did.

"Hey, man," Akira says, pulling Ryo in for the hug in the doorway. He pulls off. "What's up?"

Ryo hears the telephone ring - for himself. He doesn't answer it. He knows better.

"Uh, nothing, I just - " he starts. "I wanted to talk about something. I'm coming in."

Ryo inches past, hand lingering on Akira's shoulder, then back to Ryo's side. 

He sees a figure shaped shadow in the corner of an otherwise well-lit room, briefly considers it with fear in his heart, and then moves on. 

He sees the time. It is past 2200.

"The Makimuras are out of town right now," Akira starts. "I'm holding down the fort, haha."

"Good!" Ryo says.

"Oh, but - Miki's still here. I think she's asleep right now?"

"Oh."

Akira laughs, and guides Ryo to sit beside him.

"It's fine," he says. "Pretty much, s' just us."

He puts an arm around Ryo, who accepts it. Akira begins talking about his school day, and with respect to everything else going on it's a welcome mundaneity. Ryo sees the shadow gain discernable features, briefly considers it with fear in his heart, and then moves on. His chest is pounding, and still he moves on.

"Ryo." 

Ryo looks up, not to Akira but past the figure.

"Were you listening?"

He nods. It is all he can do as the figure jitters and twitches beneath his pointed gaze. He is breathing erratically.

"Ryo?"

He knows he has a weird smile on, he can feel it. He lets out a bark of a laugh and curls inward. He feels a hand on his back, and it barely registers but it registers enough.

"Breathe, dude.."

This, however, doesn't register. He continues to take in big gulps of air, and let it out in sporadic shudders.

"C'mon, Ryo, breathe with me."

Right by his ear, in and out, steady and even. This registers.

He follows along, in stops and starts, as best he can, until it evens out, until the tears in his eyes and the sweat on his back block out the unreality of the figure.

Akira gives him a few moments. And then:

"Easy..."

And a minute later,

"You've been acting really weird lately.."

No shit.

Akira continues.

"You missed our meetup a couple days ago. To be honest I felt kinda bad about it, but I figured something was up."

Ryo, still shaken, asks: "What... day was it?"

Akira blinks. "The, uh, Sunday the 10th. You're the one who wanted to."

Ryo gives in. "Did you see me at all that day?" he asks.

"No, I didn't.. Couldn't figure where you were neither."

"Sorry, bud.."

"It's ok, it's really ok, but.. What did you come to talk about?"

The fear in his heart is primarily what comes to mind. Ryo however reins it in - he came to talk about lost time.

"I don't remember some things," he says.

"Like on Sunday?"

"Well," Ryo starts, leaning his head on Akira's shoulder next to him. "Not just Sunday. Other days, too. Whole days."

He laughs. "I know I was at the apartment, the third one, but something happened and.. I found myself at the gates of my father's house."

Ryo had stopped shaking, but Akira didn't notice until he started shaking once again. He continues. "I was terrified. I couldn't go in at all. Who knows what a wreck that place is, right now..."

"And you don't remember getting there?" asks Akira.

"No, not at all. There's two odd days I can't account for.. Did you see me at all, then?"

"This is the first I've seen you since after that fight. Are you trying to figure.. uh.. What are you trying to figure?"

"What I was doing. I think."

"You think?" questions Akira.

"Fudo... Akira. It's very frustrating. Feels as though there's a foggy moor where my thoughts oughta be." Ryo sighs, and balls his fists. "Something's changed.."

Akira looks, and holds him steady. Ryo is straight trembling. "You said as much already, that summat's going to."

"It has, for sure it has, it must've.."

Ryo trails off, staring once again at the now reformed Figure. It has limbs, but its face...

Akira kisses the top of his head. "Well, while this is going on, maybe we should stick together. For your safety."

"...Yeah," Ryo says, solitary as he's been. "Might be good."

They sit together, pushed up against the wall and on the floor, for a good 30. Akira begins to mumble things about his day again, and again the mundaneity is welcome. People he fought. People he defended. How thankful they were.

Ryo is listening, not with great success but as best he can, when it happens.

Something drags Ryo to his knees, then to his feet. Something pulls Ryo out the front door, despite Akira's protest. That something drives Ryo in a straight line to the car, where again he enters, where again he pushes in the clutch and goes. 

This time, Akira follows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SINK TO THE BOTTOM - FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE


	19. Satan's Stick-Shift 69

Akira Fudo is scared.

He's flying above Ryo's speeding car, a bright red '69 and easy to spot in the night. He's trembling - he wonders for a brief second if this is how Ryo feels, too. 

No matter.

He wants to holler at him. He wants to dive closer and scoop Ryo away and to the Safehouse by the river. He wants to - to hold Ryo until he's safe, for whatever measure of safe they can muster.

So he dives.

"Ryo!" he shouts, flying beside the car in the midnight street. He keeps an eye on the yonder. "Ryo, slow down a sec."

Ryo does not.

"Hey!" 

Akira bangs a fist on the side of the car. "I'm not leaving you alone."

"Don't touch the car," Ryo says. Eyes wild. In almost a snarl. Uncharacteristic. "I'm going somewhere."

"Where - " Akira starts. He narrowly avoids a pole on the median as Ryo blazes through a red light. "Where are you going?"

Ryo seems to slow down, if only for a moment, and says:

"Home."

Akira's heart is pounding out of his chest.

Ryo won't open his mouth again until they get there, the gates of what was previously the Asuka home. And when they get there, Akira is quick to land.

"Come on, Ryo," he says, "Let's go back."

Ryo shakes his head.

"I have to check something."

"No, no, no you don't, or you would've done it already."

Bullshitting, mostly, but anything to get him to stay home for the night.

"I think," Ryo says, "I'll find out what I'm missing, here."

Ryo is not making eye contact. He is gazing at the gate. Flat.

Akira sighs. He extends a hand to Ryo, and he says:

"We can check in here later, together. But not now."

Akira really thinks Ryo might go for it anyway, demonic presences be damned, but instead:

"...Alright."

Instead, he takes his hand, and is guided back towards the car.

"I'll take you to the safehouse, is that okay?"

"Okay."

"I'll stay with you, so don't try anything, okay?"

"Yeah. Okay."

Akira briefly considers learning to drive on the fly, but decides against it - it's better they don't have a car. 

Flying will have to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> something old better fall and die  
when you ride in on something new  
thats the deal thats been made between death and you


	20. Aerodeliria

Akira takes him back to the safehouse.

The flight there is chilly, and Ryo isn't adequately dressed for even the top-down December drive he just took, so Akira is sure to hold him close. Bundled, almost. Ryo is wrapped around him in turn, shivering, or maybe trembling. He doesn't say a word.

Akira briefly wonders if he's mad, but wonders no longer the minute they land.

Ryo stumbles out of his grasp, weird smile cracked, arms folded tight around himself.

He takes a moment. Akira allows him such.

The first thing he does is ask:

"Where's my car?"

And Akira almost gets it, but doesn't quite.

The next thing Ryo does is says: 

"Nevermind... Nevermind."

As if they hadn't just talked about this, or as if he didn't recall bringing it up whatsoever.

Akira guides him inside, starting to feel the chill himself, as well as the come-down from that big scare. Who knows what Ryo was gonna do, he thinks. Who knows what would've happened to him if he went in.

They get inside, and climb up the steps, and climb up the attic ladder and into the attic, where Akira seats Ryo on the full size mattress.

Surrounding them is scattered notes, disorganized and only half in type. Akira picks up one leaf absentmindedly.

It's worrying, to say the least.

Akira puts it down and sighs, and he sits next to Ryo. Looking worse for wear, the both of them.

"Hanging in there?" Akira asks.

Ryo says,

Nothing.

Shakes his head slowly and he leans into Akira's touch, head on shoulder, sweating and trembling. 


	21. It Sure Beats Bowling

Akira calls the Makimuras in the morning, and at Ryo's insistence from a payphone, to explain that he was asked to catsit for a family, and forgot to tell them, haha, sorry for the misunderstanding!

So that's sorted for. He is "catsitting" for the week.

"I think we should lay low here unless something comes up," Akira offers after they return to the safehouse by the river. He pours them both a cup of tea.

"Yeah, sounds like a plan."

They sit in comfortable silence for a while, Akira still blowing on the tea to cool it down out of habit. Ryo is simply waiting. And then, Akira:

"You really don't remember getting here?"

Ryo laughs, bitterly almost, but not quite. "I don't recall a damn thing. All I know is I was in the air trying to figure out why we weren't driving."

Akira looks, and takes a tentative sip. And then,

"That's not good, yeah?"

Ryo silently agrees.

"Well, I'm glad I was there to fill you in on what happened."

And to stop him from going into the estate, he thinks, but doesn't say. Something dangerous is there, he thinks. Ryo seems to think so too, on the context clues.

"While we're here-" Akira says, "why don't we.. I dunno, let's do something."

Ryo blinks. Looks at him.

"Like uh, like what?"

Akira takes his hand, and says:

"Ryo, it's December! Let's go skating."

What a romantic.

"Like, like ice skating?" Ryo asks.

"Yes!" Emphatically answered. "I don't think we should do anything intense, but it sounds fun, right?"

Ryo laughs. "Probably not as fun as flying, for you."

"No, but. I've always wanted to."

"Wait, hold on, Akira you've never gone skating?"

"And you have?"

"Yeah," Ryo says. "My father used to take me. Akira, it's astounding you've lived here this long and have never gone to the rink."

"Then let's. Why not today?"

Ryo smiles, laughs, laughs harder, then nods with a grin. "You're on."

So, they head out. 

And in the typewriter from the overnight prior, while Akira slept:


	22. Light My Fire

This is the most time they've spent together since maybe middle school. Maybe in memory. Maybe ever.

It's only been 4 days, but 4 days entirely together, and they've come to accept the silence with each other. Akira brought a book to read and a deck of cards. Ryo has a small library of reference texts here, that he wouldn't dare keep at one of the apartments, but Akira advised strongly against delving in.

"Take it easy, Ryo," he'd say. "I know, I know, but listen - you need to take it easy."

For whatever measure of "easy" they could allow themselves.

And as they compete in Rummy in the afternoon, Akira feels the exhaustion of prolonged vigilance give way to comfort. And almost, almost - safety. He doesn't allow himself to even think the word, but he very nearly does.

"And that," Ryo says, "is 500." 

"Hey, what?"

Akira looks at the hand.

"Oh, OK, I think you're right. 'Nother round?"

"Nah, I'm tuckered out," Ryo replies.

"Wanna relax and put something on instead?"

"Yeah," Ryo says, "sounds good."

Ryo sticks a cassette into the deck, flips on the stereo, and sits back onto the couch with Akira, arm around.

_The time to hesitate is through..._

They look to eachother, Ryo nodding his head along.

"Who's this?" Akira asks.

"The Doors. They're American."

Akira laughs. Of course they are.

_Try now we can only lose_   
_And our love become a funeral pyre..._

They maintain eye contact, til Akira looks away. "It's good," he says.

"Had a hard time getting this on cassette," Ryo says, "but it was worth it, yeah?"

Akira nods, gaze turned back toward Ryo.

Ryo, who looks a little pale lately, but it makes sense. Ryo whose handsome face turns into a giddy smile over the organs. Ryo, who's so into it, that even if Akira can't be like that he can't help but be infected by it. By his manic energy that sweeps Akira off his feet every time. 

_Come on baby, light my fire_

It must be the demon speaking, Akira thinks, as his hands cradle Ryo's face and he goes in for the kiss. It must be. He was never so bold.

Ryo reciprocates, in tender passion, and the sense that Akira gets in return is that it was not the demon speaking. Something more mundane, but bigger all the same.

He's in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LIGHT MY FIRE - you know, THE DOORS


	23. From the Journal of Archaeology reject pile, pt 2

When the week of "catsitting" is over, Ryo finds himself alone again.

Not without reminders, of course - Akira left his black mockneck as kind of a joke between them. Akira left a mixtape they made together. Akira left him a kiss to remember.

And then, of course, Akira took him to bring back his car.

"Please," Akira asked, "be safe."

For whatever measure of safe he could allow himself.

Ryo appreciated the company more than he thought he could get away with. And when Akira goes, he misses him.

Weird, for the solitary creature he is. But, he can guess why. That whole love thing.

He couldn't reveal what was lost to him - that time is gone forever, he thinks, and not for lack of trying. But having someone around, that helped. 

"And," he thinks on the drive down the hill, taking the turns just a hair too fast, "the kissing was nice."

Nice doesn't begin to cut it.

More to come, he muses to himself idly. As always, more to come. 

For once, he looks forward to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GREETINGS TO THE NEW BRUNETTE - BILLY BRAGG
> 
> It's almost over, lads


	24. Believe what you like, it's changed!

The demons Akira has faced, with significance, number the thousands.

He doesn't tire - he grows stronger by the day, learns more about himself and the parts of the horde he has yet to face. And, he isn't alone:

He has Ryo.

He remains at the Makimura's through the new year, school going about its business and thankfully absent of demonic intervention (for the most part). His grades are suffering a little, but hey - what's saving the world without a little sacrifice?

He and Ryo - they're in the car headed to the apartment on 31st and 9th. Ryo's blackouts have faded in frequency, but they still happen, so Akira makes sure to check in more often than not. And, you know, to enjoy eachother's company. 

Ryo is driving.

He's blasting an 8track in the car stereo. It's King Crimson this time, so he says. Hard to get. It's a long drive between their usual haunts, and Ryo is stretching it out as much as possible. Akira could swear he isn't even speeding this time.

Akira sighs, and leans out the window. Comfortable. He looks to Ryo, and he shouts:

"Haven't seen a big one in a while!"

Ryo smiles, and says, "Yeah. I think we're making a dent. D'you agree?"

"What?"

"I SAID," Ryo repeats, "I THINK WE'RE MAKING A DENT. YEAH?"

And it feels right to think so. Precarious, always precarious, but right. Akira thinks of the missed tragedies. Akira thinks of the missed shots, aimed at himself, or worse, Ryo. Akira thinks of the near-death experiences they've both shared to this point. And he thinks to himself that he gets it.

Why Ryo's so pressured to express, well, anything.

And he feels it, too - deeply now, he wants to say something, unformed and hot in the back of his mind, so deep in his chest he can barely even begin to word it if he tried.

So he tries.

"Heya, Ryo?" he shouts. His voice cracks slightly, a sign of his retained humanity, he thinks.

"YEAH?"

"I think, uh," he says. He hesitates.

"You okay, bud?"

And Akira looks at him, and hes filled with it. Love. That's the word. That's the only phrase that'll begin to address what he feels. And even then, inadequate.. but he has to say it.

"I love you, man."

Ryo looks, grins, and guns it on the 80. A visceral reaction, for sure. And at the straightaway, he turns to Akira, and pulls him in for the kiss - slow as the straightaway allows, reciprocated. He turns back to the road, and so he replies in kind:

"I love you too, Akira."

It's a give-in world, he thinks, and together they'll stand some hard ground. Face the coming horde with dignity,

Never alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [CHANGE YOUR NAME](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-lZ5RJZw3g)  
LEAVE TOWN
> 
> We are reaching a close! Next one's it, fellas!


	25. Give-In World

At the Makimura's, there's a file folder filled with papers in haste type, such as:

And now. Walking away from the Makimura's, he's left another note in a manila envelope, and driven off. 

Cold, freezing even, with the window down and his hand out, tapping away. He's headed back to the Safehouse, taking a serpentine route there through the suburbs. Feeling warm, despite it.

Come 9 o'clock on Friday, they together meet at the place where it started. Hand in hand, setting foot across the broken railings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Will you wait the long wait for me?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyLJ2C77SIM)
> 
> THATS IT FOLKS
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and commenting. This song sets the transformed mood.


End file.
